Transitions in Marriage

    There are various phases and changes married couples encounter throughout their marital journey. The overall success of a marriage, or the level of satisfaction and happiness, is heavily dependent on how well the wedded pair is able to adjust to each stage. Since each of the many stages has the potential to greatly change the dynamics and nature of a relationship, we will only examine four of these periods: The honeymoon, the chapter without children, the first years with children, and the time that the children go out to live away from home.

    The first month after the marriage day is often referred to as the honeymoon period. Not to confuse it with the culturally embrace honeymoon vacation of a few days, this refers to the time frame, the newness of the relationship within the newlywed pair. There is excitement, bonding, and new experiences. This is a special time when the bride and groom must adjust from independent living to a collective one, and the first adjustments will serve as an initial base for all other chapters to come. Therefore, learning to communicate openly is as essential for the couple's trust level in each other as is the establishment of routines and roles, intimacy and romance, and setting long-range future plans. In other words, this is the time for the two love birds to dive deeper into their proximity, to become so close to one another that the process of becoming a single being begins.

    Right after the honeymoon phase, we have the stage where there are no children in between the couple’s relationship, often referred to as the “child-free” interval. According to “The Newly Married: A Family Without Children” this is the period where there is a structure in which the two will have a well-established structure of living. It is where they are able to deal with conflicts and setbacks, resolve diverse and assorted challenges, and build upon their marital system. Ultimately, another time frame for them to become one.

    Eventually, the birth of the first child happens and the couple becomes a full-on family which will continue to expand with every birth of another baby. Understanding that the marital system will need to adapt and change into a family system is a crucial aspect of a healthy home environment and satisfaction in the relationship. As the family expands the family system changes, transitions will happen with the birth of every new baby and over time as the kids grow up. As indicated by the National Institute of Health in the “Expectant parents' anticipated changes in workload after the birth of their first child”, evidence showcases that women's workload increases by 85%, while men’s by 53%. Thus, the couple's relationship will experience a lot more tension, which explains why many parents experience a decrease in their marital satisfaction, lower communication with their spouse, and increased feelings of being left out by their partner.

    The “empty nest” stage indicates the time when the children reach adulthood, leaving their parent's home to their independent lives, whether it is for college, a job, or by getting married. This is the time span where the parents must let go of their kids and begin to get back into a similar rhythm they had before the kids came along, to rediscover their individual identities and reevaluate their goals and priorities. Many couples actually divorce throughout this lapse of time because the kids were holding them together more than anything else.

 

    In conclusion, married couples have comprehensive long-term success when they are able to predict, plan, and prepare for the upcoming transitions and challenges in their relationship. Therefore, good communication, affirmation of love, cooperation, coordination, and intimacy are the main keys to a fortunate marriage.