Filtering out cultural ideas and recommendations of what marriage preparations are needed is one thing to carefully consider because many people around the world today end up falling for them. They include things such as casually hanging out first, being financially stable, using cohabitation as a married life test experience, or needing to thoroughly love the other person.
Within the last few decades, the term “hanging out” has been used increasingly more often as people go out on dates. However, this new term has diminished the original idea of dating because it is meant to be a more casual level of dating. This belief removes some of the most worrying parts of a date, such as the pressure of planning, long-term pairing prospects, and high monetary costs. As a result, it is understandable how appealing hanging out is in contrast to dating because it still provides both parties the time needed to become acquainted with each other, talk, discover common interests, and build trust.
An address about hanging out and dating by a religious authority, Dallin H. Oaks, sheds more light on this cultural issue. He states that the idea of hanging out is “postponing growth”, consequently creating an increasing number of “permanent adolescents”. Reasoning that the things seen on TV shows, movies, and so forth are the main agents pushing the meaning of dating to extinction.
Another belief in the process of marriage is the need for financial stability. Surely, having money is a crucial part of life and self-sustainability. Being able to cover all costs of living for a family has always been a critical concern throughout the ages. However, it is also equally important to be aware that money is a comfort and a luxury. It cannot similarly offer the kinds of things that time and attention do. A great amount of cash bestows many benefits and good experiences, yet many families with good funds still have problems, issues, and conflicts. Hence, a poor family compared to a rich one can still be just as happy or sad, as far as financial concerns add up.
Cohabitation is yet another cultural belief becoming increasingly popular in the last few decades. This is the idea that unmarried couples should live together for a certain period of time in order to experience what married life would be like with the other person. This is closely related to hanging out. It removes some pressure of a long-term commitment by providing a sample of how things might look in the long run, and it also provides some advantages as well. Be as it may, there are many married couples who have come to showcase the final results of cohabitation, the drawbacks outweighing the benefits. Some examples are that couples who have or are cohabitating have lower satisfaction and quality in the relationship, higher rates of violence, more unstable and durable commitments, and an elevated level of health problems along with depression.
Whether one thoroughly loves the other person or not also gets in the way of people getting married, it may become a stumbling block for them. How much an individual loves another is hard to measure, but it is believed that all love boils down to four types: Eros, Storge, Agape, and Philia.
Eros love is the passionate one, the physical expression of it, which usually is a source of great joy or sorrow when all is said and done. Storge love pertains to the kind of sentiment parents have for children. It is basically unconditional and comes naturally. Agape love involves no self-benefit, like the love of the Christian God for man and men’s love for God. Finally, philia love relates to an affection that goes beyond a good feeling, like brotherly love or a close friendship. In the end, it is imperative to know that it is unnecessary for anyone to fit into all of these categories, but rather only the one that is individually considered to be the most important.
In conclusion, there is no need to hang out first, cohabitate, have great financial stability, or thoroughly understand the kind of love in the relationship. The thing that it truly takes to prepare for marriage is to not allow outside cultural ideas to get in the way of what each person feels to be right. There is no single right path to marriage, surprisingly there are actually various right ones.
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